Shattered
by NightlyEvilTM
Summary: One shot. Set after 1x14. My take of what's happening between Damon/Elena after he learned about Katherine's betrayal. "All is lost, hope remains..."


I know I should be updating my OTH stories, but I just can't find my inspiration back. And, I have to admit, I'm obsessed with The Vampire Diaries, with Damon, with Damon/Elena. I won't start with the explanations how much I love them and why, cause it's gonna be longer than the story itself =]

Pre-history: After Elena broke up with Stefan, they never got back together. To be exact, she never told him she "couldn't lose the way she felt about him", or any stuff like that. Instead, even though it was hard and awkward in the beginning, they became friends. She did find out about her resemblance with Katherine by a photo of her she found in Stefan's room like in the show, just not after they made love. She confronted him about it, then she left and had the car accident, Damon found her and they went to Atlanta, etc, just like in the show. Basically, everything is the same as in the show, except for Stefan/Elena. This story takes place after the end of 1x14.

**Shattered**

…

_As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading  
Illusions of the sunlight  
And the reflection of a lie will keep me waiting  
Love gone for so long_

…

Elena was sitting in her bedroom, trying to write in her diary about the day that passed, but she couldn't write a single word. How could she put in words everything that happened? Beside, she couldn't concentrate. She couldn't stop thinking about Damon. Lately, she has found a different side of him, one that he was trying so hard to hide. The side that wanted to make sure she was ok, that made Jeremy forget about Vicky, that no matter what cared so deeply about Stefan, that has been in love with Katherine all those years, that side that brought the tears into his icy blue eyes tonight. The human side of Damon. Sure, Elena hasn't forgotten about all the horrible thing he did, but now she could see part of the reasons why he did them. And she knew that no matter what everyone else said, Damon wasn't a soulless monster. If only they could see him the way she could…

She could feel it. The strange connection they had. She knew she could trust him with her life, he has proved her multiple times not only that he wouldn't kill her, but that he'd try everything he could to protect her. And he did save her, and she saved him. But it was not just about that. The two of them, there was something they had. She wasn't sure what, but she knew it was there. The way they understood each other better than anyone else did, and they didn't even need to talk, they just felt it. And she began loving having him around. Actually, she couldn't picture life in Mystic Falls without him anymore.

Elena moved her look from the diary in her hands and saw a photo of her, Jeremy and their parents. Even though they never told her the truth, she couldn't help how much she loved them and how much she missed them. She closed her eyes to fight the tears, and when she did, she saw a pair of icy blue eyes, filled with enormous pain. She opened her eyes again. She needed to see him.

*-*-*

Elena knocked at the familiar door and wasn't surprised Stefan was the one who opened. She even expected it. She knew Damon didn't care about stuff like that right now.

"Hey, Elena. Come in"

She could see that the fact that Katherine has lied affected Stefan too, but he was rather surprised than hurt. After all, he himself said his love for Katherine wasn't real. Still, she wanted to comfort him too. Thing may have not worked out between them, but she cared deeply about Stefan. Just as a friend, but still.

"I'm sorry about what happened, about Katherine."

Stefan nodded.

"It's ok. I shouldn't be surprised. Katherine was selfish, manipulative and didn't care about anyone but herself. I figured that out long time ago and made my peace with it. Yes, she was a part of my past, but… I'm glad she's not a part of my present. I just wish Damon saw it this way too…"

The moment for Elena to ask the question she was here for came.

"Stefan, how is he?"

Stefan looked away for a second and sighed deeply.

"I don't know what to say. I've never seen him like that in all those over 150 years. Not even when they caught her, and trust me, I didn't think he could be in more pain than back then. But I was obviously wrong. He just stares at nothing, doesn't say a word. I tried to talk to him, but he never responded, not even a single word."

Elena wasn't surprised, after all she was the one who hugged him when he was shaking and crying in the wood. But still, it hurt her to hear it. It hurt her more than she expected.

"Do you mind if I try to talk to him? I don't know if it's going to help, but I have to try. He deserves it, Stefan."

He looked at her, in his eyes there was something she couldn't exactly name, but he nodded and told her he was in the living room. He excused himself and told he had to go hunting. Elena then walked into the living room.

There he was. Damon was sitting like petrified, staring at the fire. She was sure he knew she was in there, but he didn't do anything. She sat next to him and looked at his face. She always knew he was beautiful, no matter if he was smirking in a cocky way or rolling his eyes. He was beautiful now too, even if he was paler, his lips were not smiling, not at all, and his eyes… His eyes scared her the most. She couldn't see the spark anymore. All that almost made her cry, but she couldn't. She wasn't there for herself, but for him.

"Damon… I won't lie telling you I know what you're going through, cause I don't. And I know nothing I do or say is gonna change what happened, but… If I could bring Katherine to you, I'd do it in a breathe. But I can't. All I can do is be here for you, and so I am. I'm here for you, Damon."

But it seemed like Damon hadn't heard her. He didn't say or do anything, he kept standing petrified. Elena wanted to make him feel her support, so she did something she never thought she would do: she took his hand in her hand and kissed it. When he didn't respond to this either, she decided it was perhaps for the best to give him some time and leave. Just when she was about to get up, she heard him, even though he was practically whispering.

"She ran away. She compelled the guard and he let her go. She's been alive all those years. And she knew where I was, but she didn't care. At all."

Elena didn't know anything Katherine, she didn't know even many thing about her, but somehow, everything that she caused to Stefan, and especially Damon, made Elena hate her for the pain she caused. She looked at Damon, who kept staring at the fire as he continued talking.

"I spend over a century remembering my moments with her, grieving over her, trying to find ways to release her from this tomb, and hating my own brother from depriving me from her. But it turns out, she's the one who did it. And I should hate her. But I can't. I can't feel anything for anyone, except for that consuming pain."

Elena then kneeled in front of him, so their eyes could meet.

"Damon, look at me. I don't know Katherine, but I know you. And you deserve better. You are better than this. She does not deserve your love and your pain. You hear me, she doesn't deserve you."

Damon looked in her eyes, and then, Elena thought she saw the spark again, even if it was just for a second. Then, he leaned close and his lips touched hers. This time, she didn't slap him, she didn't run away. She closed her eyes and kissed him back. She felt the salt tears that had slid o his lips, but still, it was the most perfect kiss she's ever had. The feeling of kissing Damon, it was nothing she ever felt before… But she knew he wasn't kissing her. He wasn't kissing Elena, he was kissing Katherine. And it hurt her a little, how could it not? But she ignored her pain, cause this was perhaps healing his. And that was all that mattered.

The kiss was slow, yet intense. It was long and amazing. After they broke apart, Damon closed his eyes, and Elena kissed his cheeks where she saw the dried tears, then his eyes. Then, she put his head on her chest and they stayed like this, both looking at the fire, both of them thinking.

Damon, all he could think was that his Katherine was not his, she has never been.

Elena, she was thinking about how much she hated Katherine for the pain she was causing Damon, about how much she wanted to take his pain away, and how right it felt to be kissing him, even considering the circumstances. It just felt like the most right thing in the universe.

The fire slowly began to fade, and Damon and Elena slowly well asleep, still in each other's arms.

*-*-*

He was making the right choice, he knew it. He couldn't stay any longer in this town, the place where it all started. He wasn't going to look for her, of course, but he had to leave. And what was the point of him staying anymore? He made sure Anna and Pearl left Mystic falls for good, and it seemed no one else was bothering Mystic Falls anymore. Besides, Stefan was staying here, and Damon knew he'd protect Elena with his life if he had to. He was leaving her in good hands. Besides, he'd come check on her every now and then. Not that he'd let her see him, he'd just look at her from distance, to make sure she was ok, to see her straight raven her fall on her face, or hear her laugh. He was going to miss her. He was surprised, but he really was. And not because of the resemblance. Because of who she was – the biggest difference.

*-*-*

Elena wondered who could be, but ran to open the door. Then she saw him. Damon. When she woke up, he had already been gone. That didn't stop her from thinking about him all day. About the pain in him, about the fact that he had two completely different sides, and she knew them both. And when she got to know the real Damon, with all his issues, secrets, dangers, everything about him… She was still to afraid to admit it, even though she knew it her soul and her heart. And here he was, standing at her door, smiling a little.

"Hey. Come in."

"I think I better not. I'm here just for a minute anyway."

She then closed the door and walked outside and closer to him. She looked him in the eyes and asked:

"Any better?"

Damon turned his eyes away from hers. He obviously didn't want to answer her question, she could tell. Then, he spoke again.

"I came here to do two things. First, thank you. For helping me get into that tomb, for not betraying my trust, for last night. Just… Thank you, Elena."

She looked him in the eyes and smiled a little.

"You are welcome. Wish I could do more."

He nodded, then he continued, finally looking her in the eyes.

"And I wanted to say goodbye."

"What?"

She couldn't think, she couldn't believe. He was leaving?

"I'm leaving tonight. I just… needed to see you before I left. Stefan is staying, so he'll be here to protect you and your friends and family."

He then cupped her check with his hand.

"Goodbye, Elena."

With this words he turned around and started walking to his car.

Elena stood still, tears filling her eyes. She was watching him go. Then, Lexie's words ran through her mind… "When it's real you can't walk away." Or let the person who makes it real for you walk away…

"Damon, wait!"

She ran after him and caught his hand. He turned around to face her. His face was stoned, but his eyes were looking at her. Perhaps for the last time in her life… She had to fight.

"Don't go. This is your home, Damon. What about Stefan? You two finally have the chance to put all this bitterness behind you? You have to stay."

He stayed silent for a while, before he spoke again.

"No, I don't. I've hated this place all my existence, and Stefan and I… He's better with me as far as possible, trust me."

He turned around to go to his car, when he heard her ask another question, one that made him freeze.

"And what about me?"

Elena knew he still loved Katherine. She knew she had no right to use this, not when she looked exactly why the woman who's betrayal was the reason for him to leave, but she was desperate.

"You can't just leave me, Damon. After everything that happened, you just can't walk away."

He turned around and faced her again, his face more troubled than before. She looked him in the eyes and spoke again.

"Am I crazy when I think that we have something? That when we look in each other's eyes, we can see everything? That no matter what you say, you do care and you are afraid because I can see it? That you are hurting and you want to run away, because you think that will help you heal? This is not the way. I know you still love her, I'm not stupid. I know last night you kissed her. I know you see her every time you look at me. But I told you before, I'm telling you know, I'm not Katherine. I'm not going to play games, manipulate and betray you. I'm not that person. But you already know that, don't you. Even though I make you think of her, you know _me_, and you're afraid. Damon, don't run away, it won't help. Please, stay. We need you. I need you."

He closed his eyes and whispered.

"I gotta go."

Fighting the tears was getting even harder. He was really leaving. She'd probably never see him again. She wanted to at least have one last memory. That's why she leaned and kissed him. She tried to put everything she felt for him in that kiss, to at least show him how she felt. When they broke apart, she smiled through tears.

"At least you knew it was me this time. Goodbye, Damon."

She turned around, finally letting the tears fall, and began running towards her house. Then, she saw him in front of her and stopped. They looked in each other's eyes and then he kissed her.

…

_All this time spent in vain  
Wasted years  
Wasted gain  
All is lost  
Hope remains_

…

It was deep, passionate, intense kiss, so different from the two other they exchanged. It was consuming and surreal. When they broke apart, they looked at each other. When their eyes met, there was no need of words, cause they could see what the other was thinking and feeling. They knew that it was not the right time, not with everything that happened. But now they knew it was real for both of them, even Katherine was still standing on their way. But in their eyes, they both could see that the right time was going to come.

Damon caressed her cheek again and said. Elena closed her eyes and whispered:

"Please, promise me you'll come back."

"I will, I promise, Elena."

With these words, he kissed her cheek, and turned around to walk to his car. Just when he opened the door, he suddenly stopped and turned around.

"She can't compare to you."

He sent her a small smile and then turned the engine and left.

Elena watched Damon leave, and it broke her heart. Yes, she knew he needed this, and she knew he'd never break a promise he made to her, but still… She was just going to miss him so much.


End file.
